The Struggles You Were Never Meant to See

After more than 20 years of teaching and mentoring women in Hifdh, I can confidently say that this is one of the most common misconceptions students carry. It is also one of the most isolating. A student looks around her class, her memorisation circle, or her online study group and sees women reciting confidently, completing their lessons, reaching their targets, and moving forwards. What she does not see are the private struggles that exist behind those visible moments. She does not see the pages that took weeks rather than days to memorise, the revision sessions that ended in frustration, the periods of inconsistency, the illnesses, family pressures, emotional challenges, and moments of self-doubt that almost every student experiences at some point in her journey.

The nature of Hifdh is such that much of the struggle remains hidden. We hear the polished recitation but not the dozens of attempts that came before it. We witness the completed surah but not the months of effort required to reach that point. We see progress, but we rarely see the perseverance that made that progress possible.

Over the years, I have sat with students who genuinely believed they were the only ones struggling. Some felt embarrassed by how often they forgot. Others worried that their pace was too slow. Some questioned whether they were capable of completing their memorisation at all. What is remarkable is that many of these same women were viewed by others as strong, consistent students. Whilst they were privately worrying about their shortcomings, those around them were admiring their commitment.

That is often the problem with comparison. We compare our internal experience to somebody else’s external presentation. We know every weakness in our own journey because we live with it daily. We know which pages feel difficult, which targets were missed, and which surahs require more revision. We do not possess that same knowledge about anyone else’s journey, yet we compare ourselves anyway.

What I have observed repeatedly is that successful students are not necessarily those who find memorisation easy. More often, they are the ones who learn how to continue despite difficulty. They accept that some days will feel productive while others may feel slow. They understand that forgetting is not a sign of failure but part of the process of retention. They stop expecting a perfect journey and begin focusing on a faithful one.

There is a particular kind of resilience that develops through Hifdh. It is not dramatic and it is rarely visible. It shows itself in the student who returns after a difficult week. It appears in the learner who revises a page for the tenth time when she would rather move on. It is present in the woman who continues memorising amidst the demands of motherhood, work, caregiving, or personal challenges. This resilience often becomes one of the greatest gifts of the journey, not because it helps a student memorise more quickly, but because it teaches her how to remain committed to something meaningful over a long period of time.

Many years ago, I worked with a student who felt deeply discouraged because she was progressing far more slowly than she had hoped. During one of our conversations, she listed all the things she felt she was doing wrong. She spoke about the pages she had forgotten, the targets she had not reached, and the students who seemed to be moving ahead of her. As she spoke, however, I found myself reflecting on something entirely different. I remembered how uncertain she had been when we first met. I remembered her lack of confidence, her fear of making mistakes, and her tendency to give up whenever something became difficult. The woman sitting in front of me was completely different. She was stronger, calmer, more patient, and more resilient than she had been before. Whilst she was measuring pages, I was witnessing growth.

That conversation stayed with me because it reminded me how easily we overlook the deeper work the Qur’an is doing within us. Not all progress can be counted. Some of the most significant developments take place in the heart, in our character, and in our relationship with Allah. The student who has become more patient, more disciplined, more sincere, and more resilient may be experiencing tremendous growth, even if her memorisation feels slower than she would like.

So if your journey feels difficult at the moment, take comfort in knowing that struggle is not evidence that you are failing. More often, it is evidence that you are engaged in something worthwhile. Every student carries challenges that others cannot see. Every journey contains difficulties that remain hidden from view. The goal has never been to memorise without struggle. The goal is to continue returning to the Qur’an with sincerity, regardless of the struggle.

Remember that Hifdh is not a competition between students. It is a lifelong relationship between you and the words of Allah. What matters is not whether somebody else’s journey appears easier. What matters is whether you continue walking your own path with sincerity, trust and perseverance.

If you are seeking personalised support in your Hifdh journey, I offer one-to-one mentorship and consultation sessions via WhatsApp voice call for women internationally. Together, we explore memorisation strategies, revision systems, accountability, mindset challenges, and the emotional, spiritual and practical realities of building a lifelong relationship with the Qur’an. To enquire about availability for the last quarter of 2026, please email fq@theartofresonance.co.uk

BetawfeeqAllah