24 Sep Life shifts & The Quran
Once in a while, one reads a post that leaves you reflecting. This one in particular, as I see firsthand how with students & mentees, that we never memorize in isolation, but rather, that our memorization impacts our lives in more ways than one.
Personally, one of the most significant life shifts I’ve experienced since I began dedicating time every day to memorizing the Qur’an (and reflecting on its meanings) is I no longer feel the same weight of emotional confusion or spiritual “fog” when it comes to my worthiness as a beautiful female soul in this world.
At the beginning of my emotional and spiritual healing journey, so much of how I felt about myself as a female soul was through the lens of how others had treated me (and other women) and how some (though thankfully, not all) religious teachers spoke condescendingly about women in their lectures and classes. And I began to feel that their view of me represented my Merciful Rabb’s view of me.
Today I realize that how others treat me and others is about how much (or little) they respect themselves. I also realize that any religious teacher who does not convey the immeasurable worthiness and beauty of the female soul is a lost and misguided soul himself, no matter how much “knowledge” he (or she) has.
The truth is, there are so many souls—male and female, scholar and worshipper—that are broken and unhealed in this world, and this shows not only in how they treat and speak about others, but also in how they treat themselves. And one of the greatest signs of disrespect of oneself is the inability (or refusal) to show humility and compassion to others, especially on account of something that the Creator has gifted them, such as their gender.
For no one whose heart is healthily connected to their Creator and His Words could ever speak with condescension about any striving soul in this world, even if this person falls short and sins at times.
Today, by the mercy of Allah, I no longer internalize someone else’s lack of healing, lack of knowledge, or disconnect from the Qur’an—no matter how celebrated their name in many circles.
I focus on my own healing, my own path of knowledge, and my own commitment to the Qur’an.
This mental shift—which is really a life shift rooted in the heart and soul—has made me feel a direct connection to my Merciful Rabb, such that as I reflect on the Qur’an and memorize its miraculous Words, I realize that I have my own very unique path to walk in this world.
Others have theirs.
And never does anyone else’s path—in goodness or misguidance, or even in disrespect of me or other striving souls—reflect the reality of mine.
Nor do their words or choices ever lessen (or increase) my worthiness and beauty in front of my Rabb.
—from the journal of Umm Zakiyyah