25 Aug My Hifdh Journey [GUEST POST] : the personal narrative of a Chinese Muslimah
Assalaamu ‘alaykum wa Rahmatullah
Beloved Quran Hearts,
I pray that this week your hifdh was filled with gratitude: gratitude for the gift of being able to memorize – even through struggle – verses from your Lord Most High, All Merciful.
Read on to learn about the journey of one aspiring Haafidha’s hifdh experience. If you would like to share a part of your Hifdh journey, we’d love to feature your piece, too! Drop me an email to: email@example.com and your piece will be considered for future publication.
Wishing you success and joy at every stage of your hifdh journey!
My Hifz journey
My initial intention to memorize the holy Quran was to protect it. In the beginning, I just made a lot of Du’a, almost everyday. Sometimes, I even doubt myself whether my intention was sincere or not because I didn’t put any action. Despite the fact that I doubt my intention, I still made a lot of Du’a. Later, in order to push myself to memorize Quran, I connected Quran memorizing with Tahajjud salat. After that, Quran memorizing journey started to be a little stable. In order to go further, I also memorized Quran during the journey of shuttle or train. It helped me a lot to achieve my Hifz goal.
Right after I memorized Surat Al-Ghashiya, I became a Hifz student of Hafidah Rayhaanah. Then I found that Hifz journey stated to become a challenge and struggle. Alhamdulillah! It was a struggle because I had to change my lifestyle, staying awake after Fajr, otherwise, I would not be able to continue the intensive PhD program while doing Hifz lesson with disciplines. I also made a lot of Du’a, asking Allah to help me to establish a very healthy lifestyle so that He would be pleased with me. I also faced other challenges in my Hifz journey, for example, I got sick after Friday Hifz class a few times. But due to the mercy of Allah, usually I recovered overnight. But the most difficult part in my life so far was the process of purification of heart. I only remembered that I was so hopeless and didn’t know what to do. I experienced a period of extreme depression. At my lowest moments, I made Du’a to Allah, one was taught by Hafidah Rayhaanah, in Surat Al-Qasas: 24. Another Du’a was taught by Sheik Omar Suleiman (through YouTube), which is in Surat Al-Anbiya: 87.
Alhamdulillah, I’m very grateful to Allah Who gave me all those experience. It made me much much more humble than before. Alhamdulillah.
Despite those challenges of doing Hifz, Allah (s.a.w.) also blessed me with many moments which have warmed my heart. Sometimes when I review Quran before salat, one beautiful leaf or flower would float on my desk. I picked them up and put them in my Mus’hfa. Later, when I open Mus’hfa and saw those leaf or flower, I would immediately break into a smile. So much joy were in my heart. I also remember that I stood in the balcony at the 15th floor, facing with the vast sky, I recited Quran loudly from memory and saw birds flying around. I also remember that many times, I work up with reciting Quran subconsciously in heart. For sure, I also had time when I woke up with thinking hard about my study which was not pleasant at all. Even the way that I wake up becomes an indicator for me to see whether I’m dong Hifz well or not. Another beautiful moment is going to sleep. I start to autumnally smile when I rest myself in bed at night. But of course sometimes I don’t smile when I sleep. Therefore, the way I sleep also becomes an indicator for me to see how much I should do to strengthen my relationship with Allah. I also had other moments in my life which I don’t know how to describe them. I could not account all the blessings that Allah (s.a.w.) has given me after I stated Hifz journey with my teacher Hafidah Rayhaanah. Alhamdulillah. May Allah be pleased with my teacher and help me to become like her, ameen.
Now my intention to continue Hifz journey is just to be closer to Allah. Sometimes I could only memorize 1 or 2 ayat. But I told myself, at least, today I’m one or two more steps closer to my Master. I’m happy that I’m still making efforts and progress.
Many of my brothers and sisters are ahead of me in Hifz. Sometimes, when I pray Fajr salat, I would imagine myself standing in front of Allah on the Day of Judgement: all my brothers and sisters are reciting Quran at this time, and I am also among them. I don’t want to fall behind them. So I would review my Hifz carefully during salat and wish to fly very fast to my Master – Allah – on that Day.
Last but not least, taking Hifz with a teacher is very different with taking Hifz by myself. For me it is different. Without Hafidah Rayhaanah, my Quran would not be as good as now. Because of my teacher, and her inspiration all the time, I keep moving on and moving on. Whenever I feel down, I remember her words and try to be strong and discipline, especially in Hifz and salat. Sometimes I wanted to give up Hifz because of my weaknesses or others’ negative influence. My teacher Hafidah Rayhaanah never easily gave up me but rather kindly offered me with a chance to return back to Quran. So much appreciation in hear for my teacher. Very recently, I told Hafidah Rayhaanah to stop my Hifz class, but my teacher didn’t say “ok” immediately but gave me time to re-consider. When I got such beautiful feedback from my teacher I was so delighted and replied with commitment to continue Hifz class. I remembered that day, I opened my Mus’hfa to review Quran before Maghrib salat, however, I was not able to recite it at all as so much tears were in my eyes.
May Allah (s.w.t.) bless my teacher Hafidah Rayhaanah and her loved ones and grant them with the beautiful houses in Jannah Firadous which are very near to Allah, ameen.
Chen Yi (China)