05 May Naseeha for the Hifdh Journey: waning enthusiasm
بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَـنِ الرَّحِيمِ
Assalaamu ‘alaykum wa Rahmatullah
Q: Initially when my 10 year old began hifdh, she was so eager and excited. Now, it seems as though her enthusiasm is waning and there are even days when I feel as though I have to beg her to sit with her mus-haf. Please advise. [Muneera, New Zealand]
A: AlHumdulillah, I would like to reassure you that this is a fairly common occurence amongst young hifdh students. Rest assured, that this ‘phase’ does pass – however, it is essential for both the parents, siblings & teacher(s) to consistently encourage, moderately praise and support the child. In the initial stages of hifdh, things may seem extraordinarily easy, due to a number of factors, viz: recognition / prior learning of verses, confidence boost & a exposure to a new & heartwarming experience. As the child continues memorising and starts to make sense of the daily & weekly review that is needed, allow him / her space to get a more ‘realistic feel’ of hifdh.
My advise to you:
- Focus on the journey: Refrain from placing undue pressure on hifdh completion. In the same light, do not compare your child to another sibling, friend, classmate. Everyone’s hifdh journey is unique & individual, with both challenges and progress differing greatly from one to another. Let us respect this.
- Networking: Try to make sure that she is in regular contact with other hifdh girls her age – ideally, in her Qur’aan class. Perhaps arrange a weekend get-together, a trip to the park, or a hijab-tying / henna painting event for them? A healthy combination of leisure & learning time spent together will give her a much needed boost of support and confidence.
- Keys of Communication: As parents, talk to her about your personal experiences of doing hifdh (if applicable). Children love to hear this and relate on a much deeper level once they realise the past / current challenges and beautiful experiences of their parents’ hifdh journeys. As a family unit, try to read and study one hadeeth each day or alternate day, preferrably from amongst the collection on the virtues & merits of. Guide & provide assistance as she sets out weekly and monthly hifdh goals and, most importantly, remind her how well she is doing in working towards achieving them. Also, be sure to keep her favourite uncle / aunty/ grandparents, updated of her progress – she will be thrilled for sure, knowing that her favourite people are cheering on her efforts 🙂
- Developmental Cycles: As your daughter enters her tween years, she will be experiencing many changes, both physical and emotional. (From your query, I am unable to gauge whether she has reached the baaligh stage at yet). However, the haidh cycle is something that takes most hifdh students atleast 6 months to a year to adjust to,wrt the inclusion of their hifdh routine during this time. All they need is our patience, flexibility and empathy, and they will learn to adjust accordingly, in due time.
- Optimism: Use kind, encouraging words and inject positive vocabularly in your discussions on hifdh. Understand that some days will be better hifdh days than others, and that is perfectly fine. You see, hifdh is very much also about character development and personal discipline. Help and guide as best you can, always seeking the Help of The Almighty and His blessings. Unconditional love for our children applies in this context too – whether our young ones have memorised 5 verses or none, our love for them and support for their dreams continue 🙂
- Lastly, find what motivates and made her enthusiastic (initially) about hifdh – and try to use these factors to inspire her. Hmm..look back & reflect..
Ideas: Perhaps an art, craft activity together, a reward chart, scrapbooking hifdh journal, islamic-centered board games or family projects?
Resource: Shaykh Fahad Saalem al Kandari from Kuwait hosts a seasonal program of enlightening episodes called ‘Musaafer ma ‘al Qur’aan’
It is presented in Arabic, but has basic English translations accompanying each episode. Each episode documents the life of a knowledge seeker of alQur’aan.
Personally, the most moving episode is the interview with Muath, the blind haafidh
I wish your daughter & all of our little stars everything of the best in their hifdh journeys. May it be beautiful, blessed and fulfilling – ameen.
Fee Qalbee’s Naseeha series links:
PS: Do you have a hifdh question? Or are you seeking naseeha for your hifdh journey? Email: email@example.com
Naseeha for the Hifdh Journey is a monthly Q & A series addressing hifdh-related concerns.