24 Dec Naseeha for the Hifdh Journey: the mother’s support
بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَـنِ الرَّحِيمِ
Assalaamu ‘alaykum wa Rahmatullah,
In recent weeks an increasing number of our blog readers have requested for me to share naseeha pertaining to different aspects of hifdh: advice for students, parents & teachers alike. Whilst the teaching schedule for the coming months remain busy & fulfilling (Hamdulillah!), I will try my best to post relevant naseeha on a monthly basis.
Inhe In the first of such posts I address the concern of one mother & her daughter’s hifdh journey: reflective no doubt, of the concern which many other mothers of aspiring haafidhaat have too.
Q: Alhamdulilla, Allah has blessed me with a wonderful daughter who, on her own, chose to do hifdh at the age of 10. It was her choice entirely, but now as she approaches her teenage years, I find that she’s not as motivated as she used to be. What can I do to support her, encourage her efforts – without appearing too harsh or forceful? [Umm Raafiah]
A: Ma shaa Allah! It is so encouraging to learn that your daughter chose to memorise alQur’aan, may Allah increase her in steadfastness. I always believe that once a child makes the conscious decision to commit alQur’aan to memory, this outlook makes the process & journey much easier & more fulfilling.
As Raafiah approaches her teenage years, she may find it challenging in that her close friends may not be involved in tahfeedh, or the possibility that her school work load has increased (when compared to the earlier years).
- Always encourage communication & reassure her that she can talk to you at any time, about anything. . It is vital that she knows you are committed to her hifdh commitment– she needs to know that you support her hifdh, regardless of the pace at which she progresses. All too often, children feel pressured or disillusioned that their parents’ support for their hifdh is relative to being the fastest memoriser. Hifdh is not a race: it has never been a race to see who completes in the shortest span of time (whilst disregarding ahkaam atTajweed, et al).
- Find what motivates or inspires Raafiah to continue with her hifdh. Perhaps introspecting on what aspects inspired her (in the first place) to commit to hifdh, may help to discover what her motivation mechanisms are.
- In opening the doors of communication, ask her directly how she would like for you to do to help her along her hifdh journey. Perhaps set an extra alarm clock on for morning review? Or ask her teacher to accommodate her during a stressful exam period? Or listen to her lesson before class?
- Praise her efforts (in moderation) and acknowledge her efforts. Remind her of how special a gift it is to preserve the words of alQur’aan in her heart. Here’s an idea: why not write her a special note and attach it to her water bottle (which she take to class)?
- Does she have a sibling or cousin memorising alQur’aan? Children – in fact, learners of all ages – thrive on healthy competition. Again I must emphasise, not a comparison race per se, but rather a hifdh companion whose efforts will encourage her to continue with her wonderful efforts.
- Remind her of how far she has come, of how well she has fared thus far in her hifdh journey.
- Bond over hifdh: that’s right! Consider spending alone time, asking her to listen to you recite, or help you in your tajweed or memorisation, attend another student’s hifdh jalsa together, view some soul-stirring YouTube videos on the hifdh experiences of other youth, get in kitchen and prepare a trail mix or smoothie together, using all the brain foods you can think of – that ought to be lots of fun!
PS: Do you have a hifdh question? Or are you seeking naseeha for your hifdh journey? Email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Kindly state whether your question can be used on a future blog post. If so, please clarify if your name can / cannot be used. All privacy requests will be respected. JazaakAllahu Khayran.